Passing the Baton

Pam and I are the parents of four adult children who live in various locations throughout the United States. Since we don’t live near one another, it is a challenge to stay connected. Pam and I have attempted to mitigate this by coordinating an annual gathering of the “Bond clan.”

Once a year, we try to gather our four adult children and their families together in one location for a few days of fun, food and fellowship. As the grandkids have grown older, this has become more difficult due to summer sports, part-time work and other activities.

Some years Pam and I have rented a large cabin for the reunion. But not this year. This year we gathered at Jennifer’s home in San Juan Capistrano, CA. Our treasured annual “Bond clan” event took place last week. Everyone joined us except Rachel and her girls.

Jennifer’s husband, Ryan, is quite a chef. So, we ate like kings. The grandkids talked and hung out. Pam organized silly games that kept everyone laughing and having fun. Along the way, we also had a few meaningful and cherished conversations.

But my personal favorite moment took place one evening in the kitchen after dinner. You may or may not know this, but I have been the chief dish-washer in my family for my entire life. For reasons that I do not know, I enjoy washing dishes. Consequently, for as long as I can remember, whenever there is a gathering of people involving food, I inevitably end up in the kitchen after the meal washing the dishes.

But on this particular night, Tommy made it to the kitchen before I did. And he began working like a whirling-dervish washing the pots and pans and loading the dishwasher. Keep in mind, there were 14 of us for dinner, and Ryan is a chef who uses LOTS of dishes while he cooks. I arrived about fifteen minutes after Tommy had begun.

I started to pass him the dishes that needed washing, while drying the ones that were clean. In the dish-washing world, I took the role as the assistant. I was number-two while Tommy was number-one. We worked together quietly and efficiently. It took almost an hour to complete the task, but, in the end, the kitchen was spic and span.

As I thought about that experience later, I realized that what happened was a “passing of the baton.” I’m not sure that Tommy realized it, but he had assumed the lead role in a deeply ingrained Bond family ritual. And it felt good.

There were many treasured moments from this year’s “Bond-clan” gathering. But that was my favorite.