Pulling Back the Curtain
/A few years ago, Pastor Ray Johnston made a statement that I’ve never forgotten. Ray is Senior Pastor at Bayside Church in Northern California. Bayside is one of the largest churches in the United States.
Ray said, “The most important responsibility of a senior leader is to remain encouraged. Because if the senior leader becomes discouraged the energy can bleed out of the entire organization or church.”
This is one of the most insightful leadership axioms I’ve ever heard.
Leadership requires energy. Much more energy than most people realize. It takes effort to lead. Leadership is taxing to the soul. Making wise decisions is not always easy. Envisioning a preferred future often comes from sleepless nights.
A senior pastor-friend was descending into LAX from vacation. The lower the plane dropped the more he felt a tightening in his stomach from the weight of the leadership responsibilities that awaited him.
I have been the senior leader of a missionary team and in three different churches: one medium-sized church, one mega-church and one small church. I can testify from personal experience that the size of the ministry does not necessarily change the weight of leadership. Leading a smaller ministry can be just as draining as leading a larger one.
Generally, I try to stay positive and upbeat in my blog posts. There is already too much bad news flooding our feeds and social media channels.
But today I want to pull back the curtain and ask for prayer. For a host of reasons, I’m feeling discouraged. This is not a good place.
Some of the signs of my discouragement may seem trivial (but they feel very real). For example, in the first few years I found Costa Rica’s rainy season to be an exciting adventure. Now it just feels gloomy.
In addition, the constant coming and going in the international church community has begun to wear on me. I was told years ago that Reno/Sparks was a transient community and people wouldn’t remain long at Summit.
But, by comparison, ECF has been a revolving door. It’s been discouraging to love people, teach them, experience Rooted together, only to have them wander out the door to their next destination. Especially if they have been financially generous.
On top of this, lately, I’ve spent an unhealthy amount of time looking back. I can’t recall ever doing this my entire adult life. I’ve always lived in the future leading people forward into some robust new vision that God had laid on my heart.
But, now, when I wake up at night, I find myself not often dreaming about the future. Instead, I’m looking over my shoulder with “what-ifs.” It's complicated.
What I’m really asking is that you would pray for me. Pray for God to show himself in fresh ways. Pray that I would be encouraged. Especially this week. This Sunday, August 4, we launch our second Sunday worship service. I need to lead well. The church and my team needs me to be at my best.
I know all too well that “the most important responsibility of a senior leader is to remain encouraged. Because if the senior leader becomes discouraged the energy can bleed out of the entire organization or church.”
Thank you.
